Riley Collins, about 30 years old, is the owner of one of the most unusual ranches in Oregon. He inherited the ranch when his uncle died from an ostrich suddenly plunging its beak into his right eye and penetrating the dura mater covering his brain. It was a slow death by infection, but Peter Collins had his revenge by eating the damned bird before he died. It gave him the runs, though. A small price to pay for revenge, he said in that last week.

The ranch continues to raise ostriches and emus (New Zeland's version of the ostrich, we think). But Riley's added great orcs ... which are a rather twisted form of buffalo developed only through some intense gene manipulation which renders them more like furry whales and leaves them lying about on the ground a lot making these incredible sounds which Riley has begun marketing on CD and has established a trust fund for in the event the great orcs become sentient and eventually need cash. Riley's also begun developing mass production of chameleons, and various forms of preying mantis. He is particularly fond of the chameleons and preying manti because of the way they adapt to the background. He prefers to be that way himself, but people know about his intellect, and they call on him as well as Cody Barstow for opinion in Mojo City when events warrant, such as with the recent Clown invasion.

In contrast to what a lot of people think, Riley really does like people, but he rides the range most of his waking hours. Tending the animals, and riding fence around the ranch. He likes the isolation. Gives him time to think about the people around him.

Riley's a salt-of-the-earth man. Watching the Stones perform their sixties/seventies song, "Salt of the Earth," and not being understood during The Concert for New York in response to the attack on the Twin Towers made it clear that the term has passed by most people these days. What it means is a man, woman or family who struggles to make it through this life is the true salt of this earth. The real people. And they have the common sense to deal with it all.

Riley has that kind of common sense. He can see through the governmental belief in titles and credentials. He goes to the core of the issue.

Cody Barstow weirds him out, frankly. But he's never had a better friend, he figures. Cody's there for coffee in the mornings when the sex with his wife doesn't keep him late. And Cody always lets him have his say ... and carefully considers it. Riley'd risked his life that one time when they were rock climbing to save Cody. And, there was that time Cody hiked eight miles in hip-deep snow to find a doctor when they were in Alaska and Riley'd broken his leg.

Yeah, when they look at each other they see each other. One alone, but satisfied. Another married, but never happier in his life. Together, they make up a whole human being.

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