Trees in wild abandon on Ungodly Mesa.
MOJO CITY
-- Trees at the top of Ungodly Mesa just south of Mojo City appear to
be growing. Numerous shaken visitors have recently returned with the impression
that there are more trees this year than the one before.
"Under ordinary
conditions, we'd just leave them alone," said Mayor John Adderly. "But we've
had two people killed up there so far this year. Trees falling on them. Dr.
Peters, the forestry expert from Mojo University personally inspected the
site of each killing, and has said that there is no reason the trees should
have fallen."
Acknowledging
that his words might suggest the idea that the trees have become conscious
beings with intent, the mayor simply winked at reporters at the news conference
and left. It should be noted that the mayor has had all wooden items removed
from his office.
The Mojo City News has contracted with a freelance coroner, Dr. Tim Eiffle, to examine the sites and the bodies of the people killed. Dr. Eiffle has come to the conclusion that the victims were struck first with a baseball bat, and that the trees were pulled down onto the victims by a winch attached to the front bumper of a 1972 International Harvester Scout, blue in color.
"Eiffle's a rationalist," said the mayor. "You can explain everything away if you just use some rationality. But this is not a rational situation and we should not remain calm while those trees are out there."
