NOTE: The Mojo City News is trying a new form of journalism. We figure most people have a TV and know what's happening. So we're providing background on events through conversations with Cody Barstow and Riley Collins over morning coffee. They meet at the Mo-Jo Shop (once called the More Coffee Shop, but shortened, "Bring me some Mo' Jo"). We will continue to report on the Clown invasion and other events as they warrant, however.

Small Minds.
Big Dreams.

MOJO CITY, Dec. 3, 2001 -

CODY: Saw something disturbing in the papers last Friday.

RILEY: Wha'sup?

CODY: Some dwarf named Dave the Dwarf …

RILEY: Good name choice.

CODY: Yeah … anyway, he's suing to get the law prohibiting dwarf tossing in Florida overturned.

EDNA (WAITRESS, DISTURBED): Dwarf tossing?

RILEY: As I remember, it happens mostly in bars. People attach harnesses with handles to the little guys and toss 'em onto air mattresses. They outlawed it in Florida?

CODY: Back in 1989. Apparently a bunch of dwarfs got ticked off about the dangers involved and got the ban put in place. Personally, I don't think it was so much a matter of danger, as it was the idea of people getting tossed around. Kind of demeaning, you know? But you don't want to say it's demeaning because that's embarrassing, so you lock onto the idea of it being dangerous. Public relations spin.

At 38 inches, Dave is about the same height as the lamp. It is presumed that this is primo dimensionality for the successful launch and re-entry of a human body in an atmosphere reeking of gin, cigarettes,
and sexual angst. Good luck, Dave.

Previous Stories
Clowns
Fell Tyler Poofs
The Gunman
Old Glory

Additional Stories
Cody's Travels with Fred

It's too damned late.

The weather sucks.

CODY: David Flood is his real name

RILEY: Dave is trying to get the law overturned. Why?

CODY: Says the government doesn't have a right to stop him. Dave wants to get tossed. He can make money at it.

EDNA: He wants a bunch of drunks tossing him into walls?

CODY: I imagine Dave will be careful about who gets to toss him. But that's not the issue. The idea that a government can keep people from tossing each other around is really very scary. Think about the level of protectorship that puts the government into.

RILEY: Nobody gets to go rock-climbing because they might fall and get hurt.

EDNA: I don't get to do that sex-thing because I might fall off and get hurt?

CODY: Yeah. And I'd hate to see that outlawed.

RILEY: I don't get to ride my horse when I'm checking the wire. I might fall off and get hurt.

CODY: But that hasn't happened yet. I suppose the government feels big people can make reasonable decisions about the risks they take in their lives. But it seems that in Florida, little people are unable to make as reasonable a decision. They need to be protected from themselves.

RILEY: Do I smell discrimination here? The state of Florida discriminating against dwarves? Maybe that's where Dave ought to take his lawsuit … into discrimination-land.

CODY: Big money, there. Big money for the little guy with a big heart.

EDNA: You should be shot for that.

CODY: Just for an obvious cliché? It'd take a small person to do that.